Tommorow is my birthday...

i feel like i'm becoming distant from my closest friends and spending all my time around the people i only kinda get along with.

i did parkour for the first time in ages today. i had a minor rap battle with a friend. i wrote 5 songs. yet, i dont feel fulfilled. im aching for something yet i cant find it, or even find what it is.

to listen to my thoughts, listen to this song, even if you dont like the genre: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_42kyQiEBs8 even though i have nobody in particular that the "love story" side of this song is directed at, the tone of the song matches my mindset perfectly.

but then to the thing that presses on my mind oddly lightly. much like the constant pressure from my crooked ribcage, it's a bother that only seems to be there when i pay attention to it, but occasionally pops up at random. one of my friends has a very shortsighted, conflict causing, and generally selfish plan. nothing i can do will sway this person's mind simply because their mind is made up, and im not close enough to sway them even if it wasn't. this idea will become complete on September sixteenth. my birthday. perhaps it was all an attention plea, maybe it'll turn out we all worried needlessly. i certainly hope so. both my closest friends will be torn to shreds if it happens.

what happens then? second time it'll have happened at my school in four months. that's something like a one in one thousand ratio. and this is something that only happens six times a day in the entire country. there are about 25,000,000 teens in america. our school has maybe 2000 teenagers in it? so the rate at which a teenager does this is about once in 4 166 666days. so a group of 200 students should have perhaps one instance of this every 2083 days. mathematically, it should occur in our school once every 5.7 years.