some thoughts

i've been ordered by a friend to make posts that aren't just music.

so i guess i'll say a few words on the plans for my birthday party.... i have a difficult group of friends to plan anything like that for. so many people dislike each other. and im accustomed to not really getting involved, and simply sympathizing with the side of whoever im around.

but figuring out who to invite... complicated. more so because there are two halves to it, a group that will stay for the party until 11 or whenever, and then a smaller group that will stay the entire night. an issue with the big group is that there are a few girls who i realy want to invite but i dont want to feel awkward in a dudefest, and with a group of around 12 people, i cant say the problem with many people not knowing each other wont crop up.

but the smaller group could be even worse. just in case anyone is reading this who i dont know (as if) i'll refer to people by the first letter of their names. the group i want for the sleepover half is S, E, C, and O.

E and O have had issues getting along. C doesn't like S. C is annoyed at O. E and C have tensions. of course, C is possibly mad at me. he also has a habit of blowing my plans off...

i dont think that in the main party part, anyone will have significant issues, aside from one person who is probably reading this right now lol. if you plan to go you'll have to be social!

but on less of an organizer note, i'm anxious about my birthday. for the last few years, by birthday has simply been a day of reminder that i was an unaccepted person. it amazes me to realize just how low i was only one year ago.

well. that's what's on my mind....