yet, that perfect friday was not to last. yesterday morning, i checked my phone's online counterpart, to see how many texts i was sending and receiving in relation. we paid extra for some nifty features, one of which displays different people's text data separately. and what i discovered was slightly upsetting.. neither of the two people i consider my best friends has replied to text i've sent in a week and a half and two weeks, respectively. yet i average something like 0.6 and 0.7 texts to them per day. it's not a nice feeling. it's insulting.
i was going to talk to tehm both about it friday, but i was stopped by two things... one of them returned to his old self. it was shocking, because i'd adjusted to the shell of a person he was so completley. it was like i had been born color blind, but didn't notice the difference until i was suddenly able to see in shades other then grey. and that's the biggest difference in him... he's colorful again. like he always used to be. yet before he was just blank.
then there's why i never mentioned the complete lack of responses to the other friend. even though the friend everyone was worried about is still here (let's call her byrdy to avoid confusion), she's seemingly gone through yet another personality change. i was made aware of the fact that byrdy had been giving my friend much of the same, but worse. she was so upset, i really couldn't bear to point out the hippocracy. it wasn't the time or the place. if she reads this, i guess it will be. i also thought of parallels between the way i had been with the formerly blank friend. feeling like i was being made less important. being passed over for people he'd met only a few weeks previous. feeling like he takes advantage of how willing i always am to be there, yet only when he wants it. that last one has yet to fade either.
but there's another way the happiniess in my extended group of freinds was kept about equal... one of the friends i've had for the longest EVER had a break up with her BF... im also pretty sure it wasn't her decision. i've been talking to her almost nonstop the last 24 hours but i haven't asked her. we've talked about uno cards, the color blue, instruments and music, jack ludlum's hair and the massively multiplayer online stock market investing. why have i not yet asked her about what happened in her relationship? because i know her. she doesn't want to talk about it! and yet i could see on facebook (i belieive, from a comment she made, that the texting is even more) she was being spammed with people saying "want to talk?" or even worse, asking her what happened. some people like to talk about what's bothering them, like me. but she wouldn't want to. but she'd feel obligated to answer every one. this person has been through all the imagined issues of anyone like 'byrdy', only it actually happened, and worse. she was with her BF for so long it never even occured they'd be split by anything other then going to seperate colleges. im worried about her... he was a really reliable part of her life. i'm rearranging my schedule as much as possible to hang out with her. i might even try to get my parents to let her stay in the overnight half of my birthday party.... whatever it takes.
and, while, half my world is in drama, it's still mostly mundane. im getting a new ipod soon. i've procrastinating washing my socks. i have homework. i got a very good book for my birthday and i loved it.
here's the song of the post... "A kiss to build a dream on" by louie armstrong. the decades have not, nor will they ever, wear the perfection of this jazz classic.
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